where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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