Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
