Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
soo... how was my night?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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