i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
