Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize