yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize