I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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