you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
