i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Randomize
