What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
