It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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