forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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