i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Ladies don't puke and tell
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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