Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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