He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
