ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
