He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
