you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
