this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
