I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize