Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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