Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize