...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
