brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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