i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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