Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
