when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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