He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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