just tell him i said nine months
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
