we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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