I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
