Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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