they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I have demons in me.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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