So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
