I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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