spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
