Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Randomize