When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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