He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
