walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
