we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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