Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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