he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
