what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
