walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize