She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
