OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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