you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
