there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
