It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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