Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
