just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
