I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
