question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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