I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
