You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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