I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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