now i know why i became what i already was.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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