Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
