She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We left the knife in your bed.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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