i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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