I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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