i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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