she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
