Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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