Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
