Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
